Singles and Commitment Phobia:  Many singles dread becoming involved with the non-committer, also known as the professional single. Does gender make a difference here? Are males or females more likely to be non-committers?

SOLO for Singles

Respected since 1991

Singles and Commitment Phobia

2. Commitment Phobia: Are More Males or More Females Non-Committers?

By Jan Wilson
with contributions by the SOLO for Singles staff and single readers.

Commitment Phobia and Singles:  Single men are more likely to be non-committers, at least until after the women have children or have passed child-bearing age. Then more single women begin joining the ranks of non-committers.

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Many singles dread becoming involved with the professional single, i.e., the non-committer or commitment-phobic singles.

Are most non-committers men?

Are most non-committers women?

Does gender make a difference?

Sometimes, particularly in terms of commitment, gender does  make a difference.

There  are  male and female non-committers, of course.  But  for various reasons, commitment phobia is more prevalent for men.

A  woman has two reasons to overcome her fear of commitment,  at least temporarily:

1.  Her  maternal instincts. Although men may want  to  carry  on their name or make their contribution to the gene pool, they  are not socialized to be a parent with the same intensity women are.

2. Her biological clock. Even a man nearing fifty (and some above fifty) can justify his lack  of commitment by saying he will settle down and have children soon. A woman can’t do this.

In addition, most families raise women to be wives and mothers. They are encouraged to play with dolls, talk about future marriages, and think about romance.

However, after  a woman  has children or is certain she has passed  the child-bearing  age, she may exhibit her commitment phobia  more openly and/or have less reason to overcome that phobia.

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But it is not always a male non-committer you meet in the singles' world.

Next week we will focus on the commitment phobic single.


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Note: The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of SOLO for Singles. They are not intended to take the place of advice of a health, legal, or other professional whose expertise you might need to seek.