The non-committers of the world give out two messages, "Come closer; go away. Don't abandon me; don't engulf me." |
In the beginning of any romance, we all hear and see selectively. We don't want to notice distracting clues, so we ignore them. This selectivity sets the stage for a non-committer to enter our lives. Psychologist Daniel Goldstine calls non-committers "dance-away lovers." These people cling to the illusion that they want to settle down, while their lives are governed by a fear of intimacy. They are often charming romantics who dance away when someone gets too close! Susan Page calls non-committers temporary princes or princesses. She says people who can not commit are torn between a craving for intimacy and a fear of it. They fear both abandonment and engulfment. The non-committers of the world give out two messages, "Come closer, go away. Don't abandon me. Don't engulf me." |
|
