It is a logical assumption that the non-committer, particularly if male, will push for sex early in the relationship. Many don't. Many authors who write about non-committers say that winning is important to the “hunter-type” who is almost always a non-committer. Once the prize is won, with or without sex, the hunter is on to new quarry.

The ability to wait for sex has also pushed many women to committing to someone they normally would not have found attractive.

4. Non-Committer and Sex
By Jan Wilson
with contributions by the SOLO staff and SOLO readers.

It is a logical assumption that the non-committer, particularly if male, will push for sex early in the relationship.

Many do.

But many don’t.

And this fact has fooled many a partner into failing to recognize that they are dealing with a person who can not commit.

One woman told SOLO, “We only had sex a few times during our entire long relationship. And after sex, he would withdraw completely or turn into a small boy, almost like he was looking for mommy again.”

Certainly this man was not looking for sex, and sex only.

Tammy said, “One of the things that amazed me about Rich was that he was so nice. And so very attentive.

She continued with a pensive smile, “I really wasn’t attracted at first; I usually prefer the pretty boys. But Rich seemed so genuine, so attentive, and so willing to wait for sex until we were an established couple. He kept after me and after me. Eventually all this niceness and attentiveness got to me. But as soon as I seemed interested, he started backpedaling. It was like he just wanted to win, and once he won, he was gone.”

We will explore this step in the scenario.

Back (to p3) | Next (to p5)