The keyword for a non-committer is conflict. Non-committers don't want to lose the other person but they can't commit. They move closer, then panic and withdraw. The partner is left confused.

The key word for the non-committer is conflict. The key word for his/her partner is confusion.

8. Backpedaling
Withdrawal
By Jan Wilson
with contributions by the SOLO staff and SOLO readers.

The commitment phobic person starts backpedaling with one or all three of the following methods:

• Setting boundaries on the time spent together.
• Fault-finding with the relationship or the other person.
• Pointing out his own faults so his/her partner decides to leave.

Non-committers don't want to lose the other person but they can't commit. They move closer, then panic and withdraw.  

The withdrawal brings relief from anxiety. After the anxiety recedes, the other  person becomes attractive again and the non-committer may come back.

When the relationship is going well, the commitmentphobic begins to withdraw. His/her partner is contused.

Yet, even when withdrawal escalates and becomes too obvious for denial, many singles keep hoping the relationship will return to its beginnings. They hang in there beyond all reason.

The key word for the non-committer is conflict.

The key word for his/her partner is confusion.